


What Brings me Back to you

by Sundriedlilies



Category: Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-30 14:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17225390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundriedlilies/pseuds/Sundriedlilies
Summary: Emma spent time working as an in-home nanny for the Hood-Mills family, and everything was fine save for the fact that Regina Mills hated her guts. But then one day Regina returned home from work early and kissed Emma starting an affair that would be both of their undoing.Years later, after Emma had long forgotten about Regina and the heartache she brought, there is a knock on her door. She never expected to be catupulted back into the life of her affliction, nor did she forsee the extent of the damage she caused.On hiatus until further notice. Writer's block is tough. Sorry guys





	1. Chapter 1

There’s scrambling on both ends as each woman struggles to collect her belongings, silently cursing themselves for ever having done this... again. There was tension in the air, and though their movements were frantic there was not a sound to be heard as each woman skillfully avoided any contact with one another. 

This was madness. No, it was silent anguish, despair, anger and heartbreak. They would never admit it out loud, but there was love somewhere in this room. It was a bit broken and battered but it was somewhere between them, even in the moments when dark brown eyes found emerald green ones and frantic lips spoke. “You have to hide in the closet.” 

Regina pointed to the open doors across the room and Emma only flashed her a glare in return. She was better than hiding in a closet, much better than that. This situation had spiraled out of control the moment she and Regina slept together, and when every part of her brain told her to stop, she didn’t. When every part of her heart screamed for her to run, she stayed. And now, there she was, having her discarded clothes shoved into her hands as she is ushered, rather forcefully, into the closet. 

“Don’t make a sound.” Regina told her in a hushed tone and then she closed the doors and Emma obeyed her. Of course she obeyed her like a small puppy who only wanted to appease its owner. She stood stock still, heart ramming against her chest, and unshed tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

Emma could still see into the room through the thin horizontal slits in the door, and she had to swallow her staggered breathing when Robin walked into the room and saw his wife only half dressed. Silent tears fell from her eyes and her heart threatened to stop beating right then and there. 

They were having sex shortly after he walked in on his seemingly innocent wife, and Emma witnessed it all. The soft declarations of “I love you’s” the staggered breathing, rounds one and two, the way Robin held... the way Regina let herself be held— after she’d told Emma, promised her, that Emma was the only one. 

The blonde sank to the floor, feeling too ashamed and embarrassed to keep watching without giving herself away. Emma felt a lethal wave of anger dance with her broken heart and she let out a sigh at the same time Robin seemed to succumb to his own desires and collapse, rolling off of his wife in exhaustion. 

And then the room was dead silent for what felt like eternity, and Emma wondered if she should just let herself out. But when Robin started to snore softly the closet door crept open and Emma wasted no time in shoulder checking Regina as she fled the bedroom. 

“Emma wait.” Regina whispered after she’d closed the bedroom door. “What you saw in there-“

“Oh fuck you Regina.” Emma retorted as she angrily swiped away at her tears, hating herself for being the broken one while Regina stood there keeping her composure as if she wasn’t nearly as hurt by this as Emma was. “You can’t justify what I just saw in there.” 

“It was a lie Emma.” Regina was tough, powerful, and always in control. She never begged, but right now her eyes looked like they were doing something akin to begging, and it ignited a fire within Emma. 

“It looked pretty damn true to me.” She hissed as she felt her heart flutter and sink. But she wouldn’t let on that Regina had just broken her heart. She wouldn’t let on that she’d put her heart on the line for Regina to break in the first place because it was never supposed to be like this. Regina had hated her from the beginning. She never wanted Emma to be here let alone stay. In fact the brunette had told her that during their first kiss. “This is so fucked up.” Emma scoffed and then turned to leave. 

“Emma wait.” Regina went to grab her but Emma yanked her arm away before the brunette could touch her. 

“Fuck you.” Was the last thing she said before leaving the house all together. 

X

2 years ago

Emma stood nervously in the kitchen, unsure of what to do with herself. Regina never made it home before Robin and it was just her luck that she’d put Roland down for a nap. And so now she was stuck. There were no distractions, nothing keeping Regina from... unleashing her wrath upon Emma? 

The blonde wasn’t exactly sure. She only knew that Regina hated her guts and if Roland hadn’t loved Emma so much Regina would've gotten rid of her a long time ago. It’s what she’d told Emma one late night after she got home from work. 

“Ms. Swan, why are there dishes in the sink?” Regina said exasperated, but she didn’t meet Emma’s nervous gaze with a fiery glare of her own— for once. And it made the blonde falter in her response, because Regina Hood, excuse me, Mills, was the mayor of the town. She was loved and revered by everyone and Emma felt so small in her presence. 

“I was just about to get to them.” Emma mumbled just before she scurried to the sink and hurriedly turned on the dish water. She was tense, and she almost wished she had eyes in the back of her head to see what Regina was doing. But Emma didn’t need to look at her to know that Regina was staring at her. She could feel her burning holes in the back of her head. 

“So, how was wor—“ Emma let out a yelp when a firm grasp on her waist spun her around and it was immediately followed by Mrs. Mills’ body pressed up against hers. She was trapped, but Emma knew that even if she tried to run her legs would probably give out. 

“I know you’ve been sleeping with my husband.” She whispered so close to Emma’s ear that her lips brushed up against the sensitive skin and a wave of goosebumps spread like wildfire across Emma’s body. 

Emma gasped and looked into Regina’s eyes for a split charge filled moment. She was all too aware of the hands that held her close and coaxed her in closer to Regina. “I’ve never slept with Mr. Hood.” The blonde replied breathily. And she felt hot arousal stir in the pit of her stomach at the way Regina was looking at her. 

“Liar.” The mayor growled just before closing the distance and kissing Emma with so much desperation that Emma nearly buckled under the force. Regina needed her, wanted her, had craved her this entire time. She had only hoped that Emma was sleeping with Robin so that would give her a reason to get rid of her— the woman who threatened to be her undoing. But she could never get rid of Emma, no matter how hard she tried. She was perfect. “I never wanted you here.” Regina said into the kiss. 

But she was clutching Emma as if the blonde was all she ever wanted. And Emma reciprocated with just as much longing— longing that she never knew existed. But it quickly became apparent. 

Regina had led her into her bedroom— and she’d taken Emma over and over on the same bed that she and robin slept in. There was no remorse and no shame as she kept Emma’s legs spread open and had her way with her. And the only thing that stopped them was Roland’s soft knock on the door. 

“Mommy, where’s Emma?” 

It had happened almost everyday after that. Regina would find every reason to get off of work early and Emma would always lay Roland down for his nap at the same time. When Regina arrived they didn’t say much to each other, there wasn’t much to be said, Emma knew what she wanted and Emma wanted the same. 

X

Present time

Emma crept into the house with a hickey on her neck and a hangover that felt something akin to having someone hit you over the head with a hammer repeatedly. The sun was barely up, and the house was dead silent. She gathered that everyone was still sleeping and if she was really quiet she could steal a few hours of sleep for herself. 

But the universe had other plans for her. Regina was up waiting for her when she crept into the living room. She looked distraught as she stared at Emma with a stricken face. And the blonde was no fool, she could tell that Regina’s eyes were on her neck. She could practically see the wheels turning in the other woman’s head. 

“I was worried about you.” She offered softly instead of bringing up Emma’s apparent rendezvous. 

“Yea? Well, I never asked you to be.” When Emma turned to leave, Regina stood up as if she would run to her. 

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry.” 

“I get it.” Emma shrugged and willed herself not to cry again after flashes of Robin kissing and holding Regina appeared in her brain. “He’s your husband and-“

“I don’t love him.” Regina declared, and it sounded an awful lot like she was trying to tell Emma that she loved her instead but she didn’t dare say that. Instead she looked at Emma, unable to hide her own hurt and remorse and pleaded silently for her forgiveness. “And it won’t happen again.”

Emma didn’t try to hide her eye roll as she avoided eye contact. “Do you mean the part when you fuck your husband or the part when I’m forced to watch? Because you can’t actually expect me to believe that you’ll abstain from sex with the man you’re married to. Don’t you think he’ll have some questions?”

“We’ve been having sex right under his nose for two years. He barely notices anything.” Regina reasoned and she took the moment of vulnerability she saw in Emma’s eyes to make her way across the room and wrap her arms tentatively around the blonde. “What can I do to make it up to you?” Regina asked giving Emma puppy dog eyes that she knew the blonde couldn’t resist. However when she was met with silence, Regina persisted by nuzzling her a bit. “Don’t make me beg.” 

Emma only scoffed and took a half step back that made Regina tighten her embrace. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” The blonde turned her head and pride herself free from Regina’s intoxicating presence. “I’m your nanny, and I’ve been looking after Roland for almost three years now. It’s no secret that I need this job and the last thing I need is to get fired for whatever it was that happened between you and I.” 

Whatever it was, Regina noted all too painfully. And there was a time before this that had left The mayor similarly stricken. Once when Emma had brought home some young guy claiming that he was her boyfriend. Regina had been beside herself, leaving Robin confused as to why his wife cared so much about their nanny’s dealings. 

She’d told him that she didn’t want Emma to get distracted from her duties to Roland when in actuality Regina had been more hurt than she had ever been. “Emma, please stop.” Regina implored as she nervously wrung her hands together. “There must be something I can do?” She tried again. “I’ll do anything.” 

“Leave him.” Emma said resolutely. “If you’ll do anything, and you don’t love him... then leave.” The blonde folded her arms in a failed attempt to try to calm her ramming heart. She refused to look weak in this moment. She refused to let Regina break any more than she already has. 

Regina scoffed and looked away from her with wet tears in her eyes. “You know I can’t do that.” Emma’s heart sank and she wanted to scream, because of course, of-fucking-course. What had she even been expecting? For Regina, the mayor, to leave her husband for their nanny? Maybe things like this worked out in movies, but this was real life, and Regina only played by her own rules. She wouldn’t leave the comfort of her husband for a glorified babysitter. 

“Then I want out.” This time the blonde squared her shoulders and faced Regina head on. No matter her aching heart and never mind the longing she felt to reach out and wipe away fresh tears that fell from Regina’s eyes. 

“Emma, please stop it.” Regina stepped closer and Emma was a second too slow in her attempt to move away, because the brunette only needed a stutter of a move before she had Emma in her clutches again. “Baby, please.” And then their lips were on each other— so desperate and in need. 

They often kissed as if their lives depended on it. Clutching and barely getting enough air, but this time Regina was kissing her softly— apologetically. She let Emma lead her, let Emma do whatever she wanted to her. Take her, hurt her. It didn’t matter. She belonged to Emma and Emma alone and Regina wanted the blonde to know that even if she couldn’t say it aloud. 

The brunette felt lithe fingers snake around her neck shortly before she was backed into a wall, causing a hiss to leave her lips. “Does he make you feel like I make you feel?” Emma’s grip tightened around her neck as green eyes dared Regina to tell her the truth. 

“No. No one makes me feel like you.” The brunette took Emma’s hand to show her just how turned on she was, but Emma shook of her grip almost as if she felt repulsed by the idea. Brown eyes looked at green ones, silently pleading— knowing now, that she was far from forgiveness. 

Emma looked back at her and she hurt, hurt so bad that she couldn’t stand to be near Regina any longer. And so she released her grip and stepped away all in one swift movement. “Fuck.” She hissed under her breath as she focused on anything except for Regina. 

“Emma...?” She called softly. “Please? You know I would-“

“But you can’t.” The blonde finished, because she’d heard this one so many times before. “Yea I know.” She said breathily, and there had to be a point in time when Emma realized that there was no amount of running that would shield her from the inevitable heartbreak. There was nothing that could remedy this because she had undoubtedly fallen in love with the asshole of a woman that was standing only a few feet away from her. “You won’t leave him because you can’t.” Emma shrugged, willing her face not to crumble. 

There had to be a point when one of them stood up to the other to stop this madness. “I’m aware.” 

And for a moment nothing could be heard save for an occasional sniffle on Regina’s end. But then Emma felt the other woman snake her arms around her midsection from behind. The blonde let out a staggered sigh when she felt Regina lay her head on her shoulder blades. “I love you.” She finally— finally said. Regina held her tighter when Emma didn’t respond. Maybe she knew what was to come, or maybe she didn’t. Either way Regina held onto Emma pouring love into her that she didn’t even give to Roland.

And Emma let her. She let Regina be vulnerable, even though she knew that tomorrow— before anyone had awaken, she’d run away with the guy she met at the bar tonight— Neal.

So she let Regina have this one last moment. She let Regina hand over her heart in these final moments, because Emma wanted it. She wanted to take whatever parts of Regina away with her. Make her hurt like she’d hurt Emma. 

X

The next morning Roland sat at the table 30 minutes longer than he should have before Regina stepped into the kitchen and somehow she knew. She saw the empty cereal bowl and she knew. However, nothing could have prepared her for the onslaught of emotions that would finally push her to tell her husband about his wife and their nanny. 

And absolutely nothing could’ve prepared her for the devastation that was left in Emma Swan’s wake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for a kind response to the first chapter. This story will be updated weekly. Once I get off of a vacation it will likely be every Sunday.
> 
> Also this chapter has a time jump that I didn’t mention in the original posting. This is 8 years later. What happened in between the first chapter and the second chapter will be covered in flashbacks.

"Everybody said that you'd better watch out. Man, she's gonna turn you in. And me, you know that I looked put. Now look at the trouble that I'm in you know, you'd better watch out for Charley's girl..." 

Emma sat slouched on her couch looking like a well thought out disaster. She'd definitely dressed for the occasion with her beautifully curled hair, natural make-up, and her sexy red dress. She didn't have high hopes for this particular evening, but she wanted to believe that tonight would be different, at least for a little while. It was her birthday of all nights, after all. 28 years of living hadn’t been the easiest so a celebration amongst people who loved her would have been nice. But such people would have to exist first. Emma stared pathetically at the cupcake with its single lit candle. She didn't even have friends that she could call and complain to. 

She picked up the pathetic excuse for a birthday desert and held it out in front of her. She rolled her eyes not fully believing she was about to do something so puerile. But still, Emma shook her head and without further thought, she closed her eyes and sucked in a lung full of air. "I wish that I wasn't so lonely." She whispered out the last ounce of hope that resided in her chest, and let it wisp away and encircle the small flame that burned atop of the candle. When she opened her eyes again, the flame was no longer there, however her feelings of solitary remained unscathed. She knew that making a wish would never work under any real circumstance, but it was her birthday. And if there was any day of the year to expect a little happiness, well this would be the one. So she waited patiently for her miracle to happen, but when it never came- only the most innocent parts of her heart believed that it would- she sighed dejectedly. "I'm over this." She finally concluded after the single line of smoke dissipated into thin air. "If my wish won't come true the least I can do is host my very on birthday pity party." She said with a shrug of her shoulders as she made her way to the pantry.

"Wine." Emma smiled and grabbed the bottle by its neck. With multiple years of drinking under her belt, she'd popped the cork off and had the bottle turned up to her mouth in record time. There was nothing more liberating to her than forgetting her troubles, even if only for mere moments, and focusing on the burning sensation as the alcohol slid down her throat. With intoxication came faux happiness, and that's something she loved to look forward to. Maybe her birthday wasn't completely a lost cause after all.

"Watch out for Charley's girl." Emma sang along as she bobbed her head to the music that she just remembered was playing. She twirled a bit, smiling at the thought of how silly she would look if someone were actually there to see her, but she didn't care. She simply continued to down the contents in the wine bottle as she sang along jovially with the music.

"This is a good song." She said to no one at all. Her head bobbed to the beat even after the song began to fade and another song began to play. 

"I've been roaming around, always looking down at all I see. Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody. You know that I could use somebody." 

"Of course this song would play next." She widened her eyes slightly feeling like the whole universe was always out to get her. "Fuck you Pandora." She mumbled before she tossed her head back drinking large gulps of wine at a rapid pace. She was going to simply chug the bottle had it not been for a thunderous knock at her door. The bottle nearly slipped out of her grasped when she heard the noise. She tightened her grip and brought her free hand to her chest. "Shit." She hissed. Emma looked down at her dress and saw that some of the wine had spilled on her. It's a good thing that she didn't have any real plans for the night because her outfit was completely ruined. 

And there was that knock again. 

She looked towards her living room door and back at the stereo. It was probably just her neighbors trying to tell her to keep her music down. Her apartment walls were pretty thin and she couldn't imagine that she wasn't causing a disturbance somehow. It was nearly 12 a.m after all. 

"I'm on it." She yelled in the direction of the door. She picked up the remote to her stereo and turned the music down as low as it could go with her still being able to hear it. "There. It's all taken care of. I won't be disturbing anybody else with my blaring music." She called out. 

But the knocking continued.

With furrowed eyebrows and a growing attitude, partly fueled but the amount of alcohol she'd just consumed, she sat her wine bottle down on her countertop and made her way to the door. "Look, I turned the music down already and-" Her words died on her lips the moment she realized that no one was standing in the hallway. 

"Down here." A girlish voice sounded in her ears causing Emma to look down, almost comically, at its source. "You could've kept the music playing. I really like that song." She grinned.

"Uh... Im sorry, did you need something?" Emma asked with every bit of confusion displayed on her face. 

"Yea, actually I did, and I'm sure that I just found it." 

They stood there for a moment. The girl and Emma just staring at one another before the blonde decided that this whole encounter was too awkward for her intoxicated self to handle. "Okay, good... Great actually, now why don't you just run along. I’m sure your parents are worried sick about you." 

"That's highly debatable, especially when I'm staring at my mom this very second." She retorted in a matter of fact way, with a confidence that seemed strangely familiar.

Emma ground her teeth together as she tried to remember if she'd somehow fallen asleep after drinking too much and if this was all merely a dream. "That's impossible, because you're staring at me, and if you're staring at me right now then you've got to be implying that I'm your mother." She pointed a limp index finger at the small girl as laughter began to bubble up in her chest. 

But the light haired child could not see what was so funny as she stared up at Emma with her arms folded. "That's exactly what I'm saying, Emma..." At the mention of her name she seemed to snap out of it a bit. "You're my mother." 

She stared at the girl in complete shock before she turned to glance at her wine bottle that still sat on her counter. It was almost completely empty save for maybe and ounce of liquid that was pooled at the bottom of its container. She knew she could take her alcohol, there was no way she was that inebriated right now, before the little girl showed up she felt like she still had a good grasp on what reality was. But all of a sudden, she wasn't so sure anymore. "What did you just say?" She muttered once she was staring down at the child again. 

"I said that you're my mother." 

She was drunk. She had to be drunk, because Emma could not fathom any other explanation as to why a mysterious little girl, one whom she'd never seen before, had shown up to her door in the middle of the night claiming to be her child. 

"I'm sorry kid, but you’ve got the wrong address." She stated as she took one step backwards into her apartment with every intention to close the door. "Good luck though." The blonde made a motion to push the door shut, but the little girl slipped into her home before she could carry out any further action. 

"Yea I knew you would say that." She stuffed her small hands into her pants pockets as she looked around the blonde's apartment. "But you're my mom." 

Emma was staring at her in complete shock. "You know it's completely dangerous for little kids to just waltz into some stranger's home in the middle of the night. What if I'm a murderer? What if I'm a child molester? What if-" 

"What's a child molester?" The girl interjected, possessing a blissful innocence that only a child may have.

Emma took in a deep breath as she tried to gather her thoughts. "You know what? Just forget about it." She said before she opened her living room door again. "You really need to go home kid."

"My name is Emily." She ignored her. "You wouldn’t have known that, well, I don’t think you wanted to know my name. But now you do.” She said with a toothy grin, and seriously, who was this girl claiming to be Emma’s daughter? Showing up at an ungodly hour and waltzing right into Emma’s living room like she owned the place. This little girl had a lot of nerve, that was for certain. Yet, Emma had to remember that Emily was only a little girl no matter how confident she seemed, and this was all just some big misunderstanding on her part. 

“Look, Emily, I think that you should really go home. Your parents are probably worried sick about you.” 

She easily brushed off everything Emma had just said, and instead of leaving, much to the older woman’s dismay, Emily took residence on Emma’s couch. “Mmm, comfy.” She smiled up at Emma again. “So, how long have you been living here?” 

The blonde stared at the girl again, ignoring the question— blonde hair- like Emma, green eyes- like Emma... there were a few fleeting seconds when she thought ‘maybe,’ but the whole of this situation was absurd. It couldn’t be. “What am I doing?” She mumbled. She almost wanted to laugh but this whole charade was spinning too far out of her control. "Listen, I don't know who you are, but you really need to leave my apartment. This isn't funny." 

"But I don't have anywhere to go..." Emily whined. “I’m not from around here and all of the bus stations are closed right now. If I don't stay here then I'll have to sleep outside." 

"Or with your parents." Emma dead panned. "What kind of sick game is this? Why would I ever believe that something like this could even be remotely real?" 

Emily was silent as her green eyes roamed to the ceiling thoughtfully. "Maybe because... I know your name?" She offered. 

The blonde opened her mouth with her index finger ready to retort with a valid point about how Emily was absurd to think that Emma was her mother, but she had said something that hadn't dawned on her until now. It made her falter. "How do you know my name?" She asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Emily shrugged. “I’ve heard it around.” She said nonchalantly, and in a very familiar fashion, Emma recognized these mannerisms from somewhere. 

"Still sounds insane, still not making sense, and I still want you to leave." Emma breathed after a moment. The longer she stayed in her apartment, the creepier everything felt. 

Emily seemed to panic for a split second and Emma did have a fleeting moment when she felt bad. It was mostly when she saw defeat wash over Emily’s childlike features and she gave a solemn nod. “Okay.” And that was all the little blonde offered before she departed.

X

The next morning brought on a rude awakening for one Emma Swan. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. She poured herself a bowl of cereal, but her milk was soured. She went to take a shower, but there was no hot water. She opened her apartment door to leave, but she froze upon seeing the sleeping form of a little girl just outside of her door. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Emma said in pure frustration. It would seem that little Emily had a knack for stubbornness and following through. But Emma found herself a bit peeved. “Hey kid, wake up.” A little louder than her first comment. 

But the little girl only shifted, turning away, she stuck her thumb into her mouth without ever waking. And there was a flash of a memory in Emma’s mind of a sleeping baby she held in the hospital that did the same thing. Emma had tears in her eyes and watery smile in place as she thought about keeping her. 

She had little wisps of blonde hair that laid down flat and she sucked on her thumb as if her mother’s touch just wasn’t soothing enough. And Emma hadn’t slept, too afraid she’d miss a single thing about the baby. She stayed awake and committed every detail to her lasting memory. 

“Huh? What’s going on?” Emma was snapped out of her own musings by Emily, green eyes surveyed the little girl once more before she let out a scoff. She would recognize her. And this wasn’t her, this wasn’t the little girl Emma regretfully handed over to child services 7 years ago. 

“I’m taking you home, kid.” Just then Emily’s face brightened and her green eyes sparkled in a way that made Emma’s heart clench. Just a second of doubt, and her brain thought ‘maybe,’ yet again. 

“Really?”

“Where do you live anyway?” She questioned while forcefully pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind. 

“Pittsburg.” The girl said proudly. “The Northern most city in New Hampshire.” As if Emma asked to know, but she kept her comments at bay as she punched the girl’s address into her GPS.

“Yea, and it’s a 4 hour drive from Boston. Your parents better give me gas money.” Emma said grumpily, and not at all pleased with the fact that she had to devote her Saturday to an impromptu road trip. 

“Oh...” Emily frantically reached into her hoody pocket and pulled out a few ones. “Here.” She smiled. “I saw that gas was $3 here. This will be enough right?” She asked innocently and Emma arched an unamused eyebrow before declining. 

“How about you keep that, and I’ll let you know if I need it.”

“Okay!” Little Emily beamed up at her as the walked toward the elevator, and no matter how hard she tried Emma felt a growing curiosity coupled with a pain she never knew existed. Because the more she looked at Emily, the more her thoughts led her to believe... just maybe. 

X

Emily slept the entire car ride, and Emma thought that may have been for the best. It had been a long time since Emma had to keep a child entertained, and she probably wasn’t the best at it anymore. It wasn’t a bad drive, New Hampshire was pretty scenic and the GPS led her on a route that bordered Maine. 

There was a lot of pretty sights to see especially in the fall. The blonde even made a mental note to possibly come back soon under different circumstances. It’d been a while since she last took leave from work, and maybe a short getaway could do her some good. 

Nevertheless, the journey ended much quicker than anticipated and Emma pulled up into the driveway of a very decent sized home, and by decent she meant, “this place is fucking huge.” She muttered as she killed the car engine and reached over to tap Emily on the shoulder. “Wake up kid, I don’t want your folks thinking I drugged you or anything.” But of course Emily was out cold and only responded with a light snore. 

“Alright.” She said begrudgingly as she made her way around the car. So she’d carry Emily up the stares and no matter how tiny the little girl looked, carrying her deadweight was not easy. Its why Emmas arms were shaking against her will as she knocked impatiently on the door and waited in a similar manner. “Come on.” She hissed as she momentarily thought of just standing the girl up, surely Emily would wake up if she was on her feet. 

But just as she was about to bend over and put Emily down the door swung open and revealed a dark haired teenage boy. Emma was frozen as she stared into those brown eyes, they were far too familiar. But aside from his eyes and that curly brown hair, he didn’t look familiar. He was skinny and tall, his skin had a small amount of acne and he seemed a bit awkward. But why would she know a kid from New Hampshire? Maybe she knew his parents? Still, no one came to mind. 

“Mom, dad!” The boy called with a slight crack of his voice, but Emma didn’t miss what sounded like an English accent when he spoke. “Emily is back.” Really, there was no way she knew this kid. 

The mom appeared first, running down the hallway looking as tired and restless as any mother was expected to look after finding out her child had went missing. But this woman had tan skin and dark features. Emily didn’t look anything like her, Emma noted immediately. 

There were flashes of doubt in her mind yet again, and they all screamed ‘maybe.’ Even as she handed the snoozing girl over that began to stir. 

“Thank goodness.” The woman breathed as she showered Emily with kisses. “We were worried sick about you.” Another one with an English accent... but Emily didn’t have an accent. 

And just to prove it, the little girl spoke in that exact moment. “I went to go find my mom.” She rubbed at her eyes and Emma confirmed that she definitely didn’t hear an accent. 

“Oh sweetie—“ 

“Emily?” The dad was last to appear on the scene, and Emma recognized the voice before she looked up. Though it was now equipped with an English accent as well, she knew that voice. And maybe it was just her old ways dying hard, but she felt panic rise in her chest. “Emma?”

“Robin?” She asked incredulously. Her eyes widened before something clicked in her brain and she looked to the teenage boy. “Roland?” To which the boy responded by flashing her his own look of confusion as if to ask ‘do I know you?’

“And Emma is?” The mom finally spoke up after realizing that Robin and Emma know one another. 

“Well Emma is...” both women watched Robin stumble over his words for a bit before he finally said. “She used to be a stay at home nanny for Roland. Back when I was married to Regina.” He rushed the last part as if his new wife would be upset, but she only nodded in understanding at his words. 

But there was a name that Emma hadn’t heard in a while. There was a face she hadn’t thought of in a while, and being this close to Roland, Robin, and this new woman felt wrong. She felt slightly as if she was going to be sick. 

“So you’re Emily’s parents?” Emma asked as she tried to gain some clarity and not think of anything else at all. 

“God parents.” The woman spoke before Robin could. “My name is Marian.” She said when she was standing eye level with the blonde. “Would you like to come in for some apple cider?”

“Honey, I’m sure Emma-“ Robin attempted his hand at interjecting, but failed miserably. 

“The least we could do is properly thank her for returning Emily to us instead of dismissing her. Yes?” And to that Robin swallowed whatever else he had to say and nodded. But Emma could tell that he felt just as uncomfortable as she did. 

Green eyes looked nervously at Marian because Emma refused to look at Robin. And she wondered if he’d known what she did with his ex-wife. Her heart thudded nervously in her chest as if it were trying to escape the confines of her rib cage. Is that why Regina had been replaced with this woman? 

“You’re staying?” The tense moment was broken only when Emily squealed out in excitement. At least that made one of them. 

“Whatever.” Roland said before he disappeared back inside the house altogether. 

Marian flashed him what seem to be a look of longing before quickly refocusing her attention to Emily. “Sweetie, how about you go check in with Roland? I think he may have been very worried about you.” 

Emily nodded with a smile, but didn’t turn to leave. Instead she stared back at Emma with eyes that were so hopeful they nearly entranced the older blonde. “When you guys are finished talking, can I show you my unicorn?”

But Emma knew the moment Emily was out of earshot, she was going to run like she’d never ran before. Away from this suffocating house in the hills, away from Robin, away from this child that claimed to be hers— away from her past. 

Yet her feet seemed firmly rooted in her spot as she nodded her head, promising a little girl that looked just like her things she knew she wouldn’t deliver on. And it seemed to be all Emily needed. She was holding out hope that Emma would still be there, and trusted her to be, so, she left, bolting up the stairs with so much fervor that she tripped midway. 

“Careful.” Robin called. The gruff man leaned over and whispered something softly into Marian’s ear before he turned and disappeared somewhere into the house. Emma dry swallowed and felt a scathing bout of guilt manifest itself in her stomach. She wanted so badly to say something to him, to ask about— everything. Did he even know? 

“I’m okay!” 

But Emma didn’t dare take her eyes from Emily’s small figure. With glassy green eyes, she watched until she couldn’t see the little girl anymore, and even after she’d disappeared the blonde found herself still staring at the last step she did see Emily on. 

“So Emma, please come in.” Marian said with her most sickeningly sweet accent, and that did it. Or was it the fact that she knew she wanted to run, but she promised Emily she’d stay, and though she’d never admit it out loud— the smallest part of her heart told her she couldn’t actually leave.

Or maybe it was just the prospect of going inside and facing Robin after all these years. What do you say to the man whom you’ve unraveled? In a pure phase of stupidity and lust you slept with his wife— for years. What? Were they now supposed to go in there and have biscuits and apple cider just because she walked away 8 years ago? Emma didn’t even know what happened. Where was Regina in all of this?

No, that last one definitely did it. Emma swayed on her feet a little bit and Marian reached out to grab her, but before she could, the blonde hurled the top half of her body over the side of the porch and heaved up the contents of her stomach. Her body purged everything until there was no more and she was left dry heaving with a burning throat. 

“Oh dear—“ 

“Look lady, I’m sorry about all of the commotion I’ve caused.” Emma said roughly as she dragged her sleeve across her mouth. “And thank you for the offer, but I’m fine. Just please keep a better eye on Emily next time.”

Marian regarded her silently for a moment more before she nodded in understanding. “You’re absolutely right. In fact, I should be the one apologizing. Thank you for bringing her back to us unharmed.” She smiled politely and motioned towards Emma’s car. “You’d better be on your way before you start to feel squeamish again.” Marian saw the quick glance Emma threw at the stairwell and sighed. “Don’t worry about Emily, she will be just fine. She’s just young and very friendly with strangers.” 

And Emma felt vomit rising again— word vomit. There was a burning question left unanswered, yet she dreaded knowing. ‘Just turn and leave.’ She told herself. Everything could be behind her if she just walked away from this. 

But some part of her brained screamed for to stay, was curious of the small child. It was the same part of her brain that planted the seed of doubt that told her ‘maybe.’ Maybe Emily was the little girl she’d given up all those years ago. 

“Is she really my daughter?” Emma found herself asking after another moment of not leaving. But what would she do if Marian said yes? Would she suddenly have a change of heart and stay? She couldn’t just waltz into Emily’s life and disrupt the order of things. But if Marian said yes, and Emily was really Emma’s daughter would she just be able to walk away from her? What if Marian said yes? What if— Had Marian said yes, had she said anything at all? Emma’s curiosity only grew when the woman refused to meet her gaze. “Come on, I just need to know if Emily is my daughter, and then I’ll leave.” 

But when Marian opened her mouth to speak, the voice that came out was not the same one she had heard earlier. In fact, it was a voice she never expected to hear again. A voice that made a shiver crawl down her spine and held her in place. 

“No, Ms. Swan, Emily is not your daughter.” 

Turns out that it wasn’t Marian who spoke at all, and Emma didn’t need to look behind her to know who was standing there. In fact, Emma didn’t dare turn around for fear of the woman she would see. She couldn’t face her. She couldn’t look into those brown eyes and see someone she’d hurt so long ago. She just couldn’t do it. 

But Regina didn’t seem to care either way. “You can take your leave now.” She said as she stepped around the blonde, without even a sideways glance. “Where is she?” She asked Marian, as if Emma wasn’t even there or as if the blonde was so unimportant that all she deserved was a half-assed dismal and the cold shoulder. 

“She’s just upstairs with Roland. Don’t worry, she’s safe.” Regina nodded but hurried up the stairs anyway. Emma rubbed her eyes and willed herself to wake up from this awful nightmare. Out of all the kids in the world, this one just had to show up to her door and be linked to her past. 

“I’m sorry Emma.” Marian said softly. “If you were holding out hope or anything, that she may be—“

“No, no, not at all.” She shook her head a little too eagerly and it made her thoughts swim. “She just seemed really convinced is all.” And somehow Emma knew, even while Regina and Marian denied it. She knew.

“She’s 7, I’m pretty sure she convinced herself that dragons were real at some point. I’m just sorry that this time her imagination has led to a very real person with real feelings.” 

“She’s 7? Holy shit.” So not only was Emily the smaller version of Emma, but she was also the exact age of the little girl Emma had given up. The blonde woman swallowed anything else she had to say, before she could say it, as Marian eyed her suspiciously.

“Are you sure you don’t want to—?”

“Positive.” Emma flashed a tight lipped smile. “It was nice meeting you, and everyone else.” There was a robotic feel to the way she spoke, but if Marian noticed it she was polite enough not to say anything about it. 

“Same to you as well. Drive safely.” She offered before stepping back inside and closing the door.

Emma waited all of a second before she turned to leave, because she was actually going to leave. Robin was in that house, Roland, Regina— a baby that she’d given up years ago, yea, she was in there too, and Emma wasn’t brave enough to weather that storm. This wasn’t what she meant when she made her wish last night, and she’d known the universe was a sadist, but she didn’t realize that it was into this kind of torture. 

She hurriedly slipped into her car and fumbled to put her key in the ignition. She felt like she was going to be sick again, but the need to be as far away from New Hampshire as humanely possible outweighed her ill feelings. However, she hadn’t been the most vigilant upon entering her car, because if she had, she would’ve noticed the black Mercedes that was parked right behind her. And that small detail could’ve possibly saved her from backing straight into the car. 

“Shit.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! And now we move forward :)

Emma sat frozen in her seat, lithe fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. She willed herself, now more than ever to finally wake up from this awful nightmare. But dread washed over her when the sun kept shining, the birds kept chirping, and the world continued on its normal rotation without any regard to her or her situation. 

She could cry— if only she were a crier. She could scream, but that would just bring on too much attention to herself, and that was the last thing she needed in this moment. So, as a last-ditch effort and as a result of feeling hopeless, Emma sat in her car with her eyes sealed shut trying desperately to decipher the events that transpired from the prior evening until now. 

But her brain was a hazy mess of memories that came across in blotchy bursts of images. One where Emma could see herself going through the struggles of child labor on her own and reaching out for a hand to hold— just to soothe the pain, but no one was there. Another showed herself cooing softly to a baby girl that she simply could not soothe without the help of a nurse. And another of Emma watching stoically as a suited woman carried her baby away, out of her hospital room, out of the hospital, and out of Emma’s life... forever. 

And then there was Emily. Emma thought of the way Emily seemed to be overflowing with life. How she looked up at Emma with bright green eyes that were familiar despite this being their first encounter. And she told herself that it couldn’t be— but she knew, and yet it still couldn’t be. She wouldn’t let herself believe and hope like that. 

Yet her heart still longed, still ached for a baby that she never wanted to give up. Her mind doubted, but her heart told her the truth. Looking into Emily’s eyes was like looking into a mirror. She let out a sigh and dropped her head on the steering wheel. 

If only her baby had kept her eyes open long enough for Emma to commit those to memory too. She’d gotten a glimpse, but nothing more. She looked in the deepest part of her memory for anything to dispel Marian and Regina’s denial. If only she could remember... 

“Are you okay?” 

The single muffled voice from just outside her car window not only pulled her from her reverie, but it also made her blood run cold, and that wasn’t due to the abruptness of the intrusion. 

“Fine, thanks.” Emma mumbled, unsure of if she could be heard or not, and not really caring for that matter. Her memory was becoming more and more distant and she struggled to keep a grasp on what she was thinking about. 

“Emma?”  

She didn’t respond, she kept her head pressed against the steering wheel and her eyes clenched shut. If only she could remember... 

“Emma?” It came in softer this time, gentler. The softness alone lulled the blonde to finally pull her head up and acknowledge that someone was speaking to her. And whatever she thought she would be met with— maybe anger, or annoyance? None of that was in sight. 

 Instead Robin looked through the car window at Emma in a way that she very well didn’t deserve. His blue eyes portrayed concern like she didn’t ruin his marriage. Like she never left all those years ago. She scoured her brain yet again for the appropriate words to say to him. And again, she came up short and slightly dumbfounded. “Are you okay?” She nodded her head twice before he pulled the car door open in order to look Emma over for any signs of injury. “Regina asked me to move her car, but uh...” He held a set of Mercedes Benz keys at his side as he took a step back and glanced at the damage. 

 “Is it bad?” She was afraid to ask, but she needed to know how much debt she was going to be in after all of this. Regina would undoubtedly take her for all that she was worth— which wasn’t much. 

He tried to hide his grimace, but it was too late, Emma saw it before he could say anything to remedy his mistake. “It’s really not that bad.” He persisted anyway. “There’s just a slight dent and maybe a scratch.”

 His new accent was convincing. It gave him a sweet sound and almost made Emma believe. “Really?” She asked just before stepping out of her car and taking a look at the damage herself. But her face dropped when she saw Regina’s bumper completely detached from the car, and one of the headlights shattered. “She’s going to kill me.” The blonde groaned. 

 Robin chuckled and patted Emma gently on the shoulder. “Yea, you may be in just a bit of trouble.” 

 “I’m glad you find this funny.” Sarcasm.

 “Come on. You look like you’ve seen a few ghosts. You’re clearly not fit to drive right now.” And Emma didn’t protest as he led her back into the house. But the whole time she followed him, she waited for the anger. She waited for the blame. In fact, the guiltiest parts of her heart implored for him to yell at her, to treat her with distaste… But Emma had never known Robin to be that way. He had always been a kind and gentle man. For once Emma just wanted him to step out of his character, just this once. Treat her like a traitor, because that’s what she deserved.

But Robin led her into the kitchen, periodically checking in with her the whole way there to make sure she was okay. Honestly Emma had been shown more kindest by him in the past few moments than she had in the past several years. It was ridiculous and sad, and she hated herself just a little for how sweet and accommodating he was being. “Robin, you don’t need to do this.” She said when he placed a warm cup of apple cider in front of her.

 “Do what?” Robin asked with his eyebrows raised. “It’s just apple cider. If you don’t want it, we have other things.”

“That.” Emma motioned to him and shook her head. “You don’t need to be nice to me.” She felt exasperated when he looked like he wanted to protest. “It was eight years ago, but it still happened.” There didn’t need to be clarification on what _it_ was, they both knew. “So just, get it over with, yell at me, curse me, tell me to get out of your home. Just acknowledge it.”

Blue eyes pierced into green ones and Emma felt fear encase her for a few seconds when she thought Robin would actually do something of the sort. But instead he only sighed and took the seat next to the blonde. “I don’t want to do any of those things to you Emma… maybe I did 8 years ago, or maybe even 7 years ago, but now… I’ve forgiven you. I think maybe you need to acknowledge what you did, after all you were the one who got to run away from everything and everyone. I was the unlucky bastard who had to stand in the shitstorm you left behind. Trust me, I’ve acknowledged it plenty.” He smiled warmly at and her and it did nothing to appease Emma. Maybe she was a sadist herself, but a part of her wanted him to hurt her feelings. She wanted him to want to hurt her even if he couldn’t.

"You didn’t deserve what I did to you and your family.” She said softly.

“It was a long time ago. I’m sure you’re not the same person you used to be.” Emma looked up at him and she shook her head slightly. “I know I’m not the same man I used to be. For one, I’m much more handsome wouldn’t you say?” And just to emphasize his striking good looks he puffed out his chest and flexed his muscles.

Emma blew a puff of air through her nose and let herself feel free enough to smile at him. “Very handsome, indeed.” She agreed.

“Ah, I made you smile.” He pointed at Emma as if she’d been caught. “And in good time too.” He mumbled as he stood up. It took the blonde a moment, but she realized half a second too late that Robin was getting up to leave because Regina had quietly entered the kitchen.

Robin excused himself when he saw that the brunette had no intentions of leaving, but not before giving Emma’s shoulder one last squeeze and a look that said, ‘be strong.’ The blonde gave him a half smile and felt her heart sink in her chest for a completely different reason now.

Green eyes searched for forgiveness in Regina, hoping their encounter would be something similar to the one she’d just had. But Regina was not Robin and there was no forgiveness to seek in the other woman. There wasn’t even anger. There was just… nothing. Regina stood with her back facing Emma looking as if she were only a shell of the woman Emma once knew. The blonde opened her mouth only to swallow her words when she realized she didn’t exactly know what was supposed to come out of her mouth. So, she waited because, again, what was she supposed to say after all this time? What were they supposed to talk about?

"Are you okay?” Came the soft question. And had Emma not been actively listening, there was a great chance she may have missed it altogether. Regina kept her back turned, always away from Emma, but for now the blonde didn’t mind it. She didn’t know what she’d do if she had to look into Regina’s eyes— those eyes that once looked at her with so much life and vibrance. Eyes that used to tell her that she was important and loved, but betrayed her like everyone else did... eyes, that she betrayed too. 

Emma’s thoughts were screaming at her now. Her heartbeat was echoing, the sound ricocheting of off the tile floors and resonating in her ears. And suddenly she was hyperaware that Regina Mills was standing only a few feet away from her.

“I’m fine thanks.” Her tongue felt too big in her mouth, like the time when she was ten and she’d eaten blueberries. Her tongue had gotten so big that Emma couldn’t close her mouth. This felt similar, she thought. 

Regina nodded her head once and gave no other signs of emotion. Emma found that the longer she sat there staring holes into Regina’s back, the more she wanted to reach out and touch her. She looked so rigid now. This version of Regina was not the same version of the woman that she’d left 8 years ago. The blonde had to actively remind herself of her place.

“Are you okay?” It was too vague of a question given her audience. Yet, Emma tried her hand at a conversation anyway, and there were a few seconds of space between Regina’s answer and the question. Those seconds stretched, they felt like minutes, hours even. There was even a moment when Emma thought she wouldn’t receive an answer all. But her doubt was erased when Regina turned her head to the side as if she wanted to see Emma as if she wanted just a glimpse of what the woman has become. However, she never let her vision stray from its spot on the kitchen floor. 

“When will you be leaving again?” And Emma wasn’t sure if the ‘again’ was added just as a reminder that Regina wanted her gone this time around or meant to be a low blow about Emma’s attempt to leave for a second time. But the situation was different this time, in either scenario Regina wanted her gone. So, there was no real reason Emma should have felt guilt nipping at her heels as she hopelessly tried to seek out Regina’s gaze while simultaneously trying to figure out a reason for her not to leave so soon. 

“I backed into your car.” She spluttered out, hoping that would get a reaction out of Regina. Something to wake her up from this catatonic coma she was in. 

“I know.” She said calmly instead of giving Emma a reaction she hoped for. “My car can be fixed within a week. Your car is your responsibility, but you need not worry about reporting this to the insurance company. I can handle it.”

“Regina...” She started, but the rest of her sentence died when a rush of blonde came tumbling into the kitchen and running straight for the brunette. 

Emily wrapped her arms around Regina’s legs and buried her face into the side of the woman’s thigh. Emma watched, silently, as the scene unfolded in front of her. The brunette took a moment, but he entire form relaxed when she gazed down at the small girl. Emma could see the corner of Regina’s mouth curve up and she nearly fell off of her stool from trying to get a better glimpse of the smile she surely thought that she was imagining. But it was no mistake. Emma was not imagining the scene in front of her. Regina smiled at Emily and Emily smiled up at Regina, and all too suddenly Emma felt her heart seize in her chest.

Something was aching inside of her. She just couldn’t quite pinpoint the pain or understand it for that matter. In the end, Emma had to look elsewhere to gain reprieve. She chose to focus her attention on leaky faucet just past the other two patrons.

“Mom, can we take Emma home with us?” As if she were a puppy— as if she were lost. But Emma’s eyebrows began to furrow as realization began to settle in.

The woman in question felt her whole body tense. She hadn’t actually thought of the real reason Regina was here. However, Marian did say that she and Robin were only Emily’s god parents. And Regina did show up and side-stepped Emma with a purpose that the blonde was too in shock to decipher at first. But, Emily’s mother… Emma could understand it all now. Yet, she still felt her heart long for something that seemed even further from her reach now.  

“Darling, I’m sure Ms. Swan has more interesting things to do with her Saturday.” Regina countered only for Emily to bolt over to Emma and stare longingly into her eyes. 

“Do you want to see my room?” 

And dammit Emma couldn’t help herself, she came undone. “You still didn’t show me the unicorn.” She retorted as her heart twisted and turned, willing her hand to reach out and stroke the blonde tresses of hair on Emily’s head.

Emma blinked, and she found herself right back in the hospital room, this time she was whispering sweet ‘I love you’s’ to a baby that could never understand. And when she blinked again Emily was looking at her as if she’d hung the moon. “I would love to see your room.” She smiled back down to the child. 

“Ms. Swan.” Regina hissed, and this time when Emma looked up, she was met with a glare so fierce that she almost backtracked. But Emily was already doing a happy dance and not hiding the fact that she was proud to have gotten what she wanted. 

Emma mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry,’ before motioning to the happy seven-year-old and shrugging. She was hopeless, helpless, and way too much of a push over to be in Emily’s presence already and it had only been 30 minutes since her grand realization. 

“Emily you are under punishment.” Regina said, not budging from her position. “You don’t get to have guests over.” The resolution in her voice was final and Emma felt her heart sink a little at the prospect of just leaving now. So, she went to protest, but Emily beat her to the punch. 

“She’s not my guest.” The girl said smoothly. “She’ll be there to visit you. I can just show her my room since that’s where I’ll be spending all of my time anyway.” 

Emma wanted to be her back up, and fight for a chance to spend more time with the 7-year-old, but the prospect of spending more time alone with Regina terrified her. However, she really didn’t want to have to leave so soon. This alone propelled Emma to meekly say, “She makes a good argument.”

Regina sent her a glare but ultimately softened when Emily climbed onto Emma’s lap and flashed her mother her best set of puppy dog eyes. “We can’t let Emma go home now, she’ll miss our annual hot chocolate and movie night.” Emily smiled knowingly, and Regina furrowed her eyebrows before taking out her phone to check something. 

While the brunette was distracted, Emily leaned back, laying her back against Emma’s front, waiting in a relaxed position as if she had already won. Emma couldn’t help but think that Emily must really like her to be so comfortable with her so soon. And sure enough when Emma looked away from her, Regina had a look of resignation on her face. “I’ll entertain this just for today, but you’re in big trouble Em. You have to know that it’s not okay for you to just run off in the middle of the night— or ever.” The brunette said sternly. 

Regina held Emily’s gaze long enough to drive her point home, but then brown eyes bounced between two blondes as if she only realized now that they were in such close proximity. Emma saw something flash in her eyes, before the brunette tore her gaze away from them altogether.

“But given the circumstance, we can set your recent actions aside and-“ she cleared her throat and readjusted her gaze. “Indulge just this once.”

Emily smiled knowingly at Emma just before she hopped down, thanking her mother in the process and running upstairs to gather her things, leaving Emma and Regina to themselves again. “Thank you-“

“I did that for my daughter, not for you.” Regina was quick to say, gone was the warmth she exuded when Emily was present and back was the rigidity. “Please be aware that after today, I don’t want you anywhere near Emily and the only reason I’m even entertaining this is because of the occasion.” Emma furrowed her eyebrows as she listened, not really understanding what occasion Regina was referring to, but staying quiet so as to not push her chances. 

“Understood.” Emma said resolutely, and she did. Had it not been for the fact that she ran into Regina’s car she would have already been half way back to Boston by now and back to her normal mundane life. But there was still a little voice in the back of her mind that whispered for her to just leave now. It told her that if she spent anymore time around Emily she very well may never want to leave.

“Did you say hello to Roland?” Regina asked suddenly, as if she’d been thinking about asking all the while.

Emma dropped her shoulders and let the guilt consume her this time. Her cheeks flushed red and she hung her head low. “He answered the door for me, but I don’t think he really remembers-“ 

“He does.” Regina cut in. “He remembers…”  

“Emma, you’re still here.” Both sets of eyes darted towards the kitchen entrance when Marian entered and leaned up against the island. “Robin told me about the mishap.” She cringed and sent Regina a sympathetic look, one that the brunette easily waved off. 

“Yea, I wasn’t paying attention, and even though Regina is a big girl and can fix her own car, I still plan to pay for the damages.” 

“That won’t be necessary.” 

“But I owe it to you, so I will.” 

“How noble of you.” Regina retorted looking less than amused. “Seriously, go talk to Roland.” She tilted her head towards the stairs to emphasize her point.

But Marian stepped a few inches closer to Emma and shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s not feeling his best right now, and I think maybe it would be good for you to speak with him, just—  later.” She smiled sweetly when Emma visibly deflated. So, it would seem her only fans right now were Emily and maybe this Marian character. “But I can take your number and we can set something up. I think it would be really good for him.”

Emma blinked before glancing at Regina, green eyes wordlessly asked for permission. There was a part of her that wanted the brunette’s approval. But Regina paid her no mind, and Marian waited patiently, careful not to push her boundaries as the blonde worried over if she should stay in contact or not. But, when Regina never made any attempt at giving Emma her blessing the blonde threw caution to the wind and gave Marian her number. “I’m free most weekends.” She commented. “Just send me a text on Friday night and I can be down on Saturday for a day trip.”

“Yea, that would be nice. Robin is heading out of town for work, so it’ll just be Roland and I for a while. I could use some company as well.”

The blonde let herself return Marian’s smile this time. She seemed sweet, and Robin deserved her. Roland deserved her. She was soft in a way that they both needed, and Regina was never that way. At least not with them.

But she did soften when Emily came rushing back into the kitchen with her unicorn in tow. “Let’s go!” She declared, to which her mother responded with a pointed look. “Oh yea, sorry mom.” She shrunk down before walking over to Marian and hugging her. “I love you aunt Mary, and I’m sorry for running away last night.”

“Well, it’s not exactly alright, munchkin, but I’ll forgive you just this once only if you promise to never do that again.” Emily smiled and gave a resolute nod.

“I promise.”

“Well then, all is forgiven.”

“And did you say goodbye to Robin?” Regina asked when Emily looked at her expectantly.

Emily dropped her head and walked back to the base of the stairs, all the while Emma watched her with a ghost of a smile on her lips. The small girl lifted one leg to climb the stairs but ultimately put her foot back on the ground, seemingly thinking better of her actions. “Bye Uncle Robin, I love you!” She yelled. “I love you too Roland!”

“Emily.” Regina scolded.

But Roland was quick to respond with yelling of his own. “I love you too Em.”

Quick footsteps could be heard descending the stairs before Robin appeared with a big smile on his face. “Really? You were just going to leave me without giving me a hug?” He asked as he swooped down and took Emily into his arms. She squealed and wiggled as he tickled her.

“No, NO!!” She giggled. “I was going to come up and say goodbye.”

“You were not.” He accused just before placing the smaller blonde back on the ground. “You’re all excited because Emma is here. But, I’m still your favorite right?” He stage whispered, and Emily nodded enthusiastically. “Good, and it better stay that way. Also, if you ever run away again, I’ll kick your butt.”

“It won’t happen again.” Emily said breathlessly and with a residual smile still on her face.

“Good.”

Robin looked up, blue eyes seeking Emma out immediately, and he smiled. “It was nice seeing you Emma. Hopefully it won’t be 8 years before we see you again next time.” Of course, he would try and make light of the situation, but Emma didn’t laugh. Instead her gazed flicked to the side, chancing a glance at Regina to see her reaction. If the blonde wanted to know what Regina was thinking or feeling, today wouldn’t be the day she found because Regina gave her no clue as to what was going through her head as she stood there with an expressionless face.

Emma braved a happy face, sending Robin a smile, even though her insides turned. “I hope so too.” She said just before Emily took her by the hand and led her out the door with Regina following closely behind. There was a part of Emma that said she shouldn’t go, and that if she did spend more time with Emily she wouldn’t want to leave.

But as the little girl trotted in front of her, beaming as if she were holding the hand of someone important, Emma felt herself falling. Any attempt to dismiss this was obsolete now. It was funny how quickly her life had changed in just a mere 24 hours.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, off of vacation so Sunday update as promised!  
> Just an FYI, this story will be updated every Sunday at the least, but sometimes I'll update extra throughout the week.  
> Also, thank you all for reading!

_10 Years Ago_

Emma Swan sat perched on her windowsill with her right leg crossed comfortably over the left one. She sipped on hot chocolate as her emerald eyes focused in on the black Mercedes that pulled into the driveway. For a second, she wondered if she should feel nervous or even if she should go down and meet the new arrivals at the door. But Emma stayed put, watching as an olive toned woman stepped out of the back of the vehicle followed by a little boy with dark curly hair.

She tilted her head in interest. So, this was the elusive wife that Mr. Hood had told her about? “Impressive.” Emma mumbled to herself as she sipped more of the chocolaty contents into her mouth, savoring its warmth. Her name was Regina, Robin had told her, but she didn’t look like a Regina. Maybe a Victoria or an Eve, but definitely not a Regina.

The blonde reveled in the feeling of warmth that spread through her body as she gripped her mug. Robin had darted outside, taking their bags and offering them welcome back hugs. He was speaking very animatedly to his wife about something when suddenly he turned toward the house and lifted his index finger to point at Emma’s sitting figure.

The little boy, Roland, looked up at her with a confused look before he said something that Emma couldn’t quite make out. And then Regina was removing her dark shades and staring up at her. The blonde was momentarily stunned by dark scathing eyes. But she held Regina’s glare for a moment before something in her brain clicked and told her that maybe now was the time to head downstairs. Feeling her heartrate pick up, Emma tried to quickly stand, but she had forgotten that her socks didn’t have much traction on hardwood floors and she lost her balance. “Shit.” She hissed as she ungracefully stumbled from her spot on the window sill.

And to make matters worse, she’d clumsily dropped her mug in the process of regaining her composure. “Great.” She sighed heavily before bolting downstairs into the kitchen. Maybe if she was quick enough, she’d be able to grab a few paper towels and clean up her mess before they came inside.

Of course, Emma Swan was cursed to have no such luck or speed. Roland appeared first, standing innocently in the kitchen entry way closest to the door, and Emma froze at the sight of him. She could just brush him off and run back to her room to clean up the mess she made, but before she could even think to move, the little boy said, “What’s your name?”

Emma stood frozen before tucking the hand that was holding way too many paper towels behind her back and flashed the kid a toothy grin. “My name is Emma Swan, but you can call me Emma.”

Roland mirrored her expression, smiling up at her as if she’d just given him a bag of his favorite candies. “Will you be living here?”

“I sure will buddy, and I think that you and I are going to become really great friends.” He giggled in response, and Emma had to admit that he was much more adorable than she imagined. Robin told her that he was four years old, but he small enough that if Emma had to guess she would’ve thought that he was younger.

“Emma.” It was Robin who pulled her attention away from Roland so that she could focus on the other two adults that entered the house. “I see that you’ve already met my son, Roland, now I’d like you to meet my wife, Regina.” He smiled warmly and gestured toward the dark-haired woman that walked beside him.

Regina Mills _not_ Regina Hood, like her husband, looked even more unimpressed up close and Emma felt an acute urge to run, yet she stood dutifully in her spot. Regina was wound up _tight_ , and it made Emma regret ever agreeing to take this job without meeting her first. But upon Emma’s arrival, Robin had already done his research on her and had the company draft up an agreement to sign. He knew that Emma would be a perfect fit for his family. He even went as far as to convince the blonde that his wife would love her and then offered her more money than Emma deemed normal for a stay at home nanny. And Emma being the young and naïve person that she is, jumped at the opportunity.

However, she was starting to realize that maybe there were more than a few red flags popping up in Regina’s mind as she stared disdainfully at her new nanny. Emma was young and attractive, hired by her husband while Regina was away with their son, and the brunette seemingly unaware of anything that was transpiring in her absence.

Okay, so maybe Emma was beginning to see that this looked completely bad, but in her defense, she really was a damn good nanny.  

“Emma Swan.” The blonde offered meekly before extending her hand, willing Regina to shake it. At least if she took Emma’s hand it would make her feel a bit less like she’s possibly made the biggest mistake of her life by accepting this job.

But the brunette only tilted her head and glanced down at the outreached hand before she gave a slight head shake to signal for Emma to drop the gesture altogether. And the blonde felt hot embarrassment heat her cheeks as she stood toying with the wad of paper towels that she held behind her back.

“How old are you?” Regina stared at her in a manner that suggested she was already bored of Emma. She didn’t even give the blonde a chance to respond. “Did you attended University?” A nod from Emma and a head shake from Regina. This woman was really not impressed with her in the way that Robin was. “Then why are you here? Shouldn’t you be out making something of yourself?”

Emma opened her mouth to respond but found that no words formed. So, this was a mistake. It was a shame she came to realize that only after signing her contract.

“Pack your bags and get out.”

X

_Present_

Emma blinked away the memory, her eyes focused on the same windowsill that she’d sat on ten years ago. Something inside her stomach churned as Emily bounced around her oblivious to the blonde’s musings. She pointed happily at her trophies, showed Emma pictures of her with her friends, and introduced the blonde to the rest of her teddy collection. All the while Emma fought off a strong wave of nausea.

Her old room was now Emily’s room. It was rather fitting really. Emma lived out some of her best days between these walls. She turned her head to the left and a memory of Regina kissing her against the wall appeared. Then to the right, and suddenly she and Roland were having a tickle fight. She looked right again, and she and Roland sat on the floor drawing doodles on a piece of paper. But one time her eyes flickered to the closet, and instead of a joyful memory, the image of herself curled up in bed, devastated, and alone appeared. That one was silly, she thought, because it hadn’t even been her closet that she’d hid in. This room wasn’t where it all happened. Still, flashes of Regina gripping at Robin as she told him she loved him flashed behind her eyelids so vividly, it made her knees go weak.

All this time, and all her hard work of forgetting and running away was rebuffed by her simply setting foot back into her old home. She couldn’t understand why her hands were trembling or why she suddenly wanted to run again, but it all seemed like too much. 8 years was a long time to get over something, and honestly, she thought she had done just that. She thought she had left this all behind her.

Apparently not because the longer she stayed in the room the louder her sobs became. Emma tried to shake her head, attempting to free herself from this memory just as she had done the last one, but she could only remember clutching at her mid-section desperately trying to hold herself together. Flashes of Regina telling her she couldn’t leave Robin. Flashes of Regina saying that she loved Emma. Flashes of Neal.

Neal…

Emma found Emily, gazing at her in a daze, trying to see if she could find any traces of him in her. Because if she could see just a glimpse of Neal there then that would be her proof. That would make Emily hers. Except Emma couldn’t find anything that linked the two. Emily didn’t have his hair, eyes or smile. There was no trace of him at all. So, she looked for traces of herself as Emily spoke animatedly about something that happened in school before the fall break.

But Emma couldn’t find herself in Emily either. Who she did find, however, was Regina. Emma thought back to the night they met and how familiar the small girl seemed, and this must have been why. Aside from her looks, Emily was the epitome of Regina. The way she spoke and the way she moved— just everything about her.

The whole situation was confusing, and Emma was becoming desperate for an answer. She wanted to ask, but she was stalling, her tongue darted out to wet her lips just to buy her some time. She felt wrong for asking Emily, but Emma needed to know. “Why did you say that I was your mother?” She asked seemingly out of nowhere, and Emily even flashed her a look of confusion displaying her most childlike features.

She shrugged in response, not sensing the severity Emma was trying to portray. “I’m adopted.” Emily offered, but that was all she said before she tossed one of her teddy bears into the air.

Her left eye twitched and then she felt her temperature slowly rise. “But that’s not the only reason, is it? There must have been another reason that you came to my home and said that I am your mother… I mean, you knew my name before I even told you.” She was grasping for anything to hold onto, to keep her centered. But Emily was looking up at her with remorseful eyes. Eyes that said everything that Emma didn’t even know she feared. The baby she held seven years ago disappeared, the rehashing of all  those memories— she endured them for nothing.  

“Please tell me that you didn’t seek me out just because you’re having a seven-year-old crisis.” She felt fear wash over her as her memories tapered in and out. Emily’s eyes grew double in size, looking at Emma as if the older blonde was crushing her. “How did you even find me?”

Again, the girl answered with silence, and Emma felt like she would scream. “This is all some cruel joke isn’t it? Did Regina put you up to this to get back at me for leaving all those years ago? But how would she even know where to find me? How would she know that I had a child in the first place?”

“You left?” Emily asked with a slight waver in her voice.

“What?” And really the girl didn’t need to repeat herself, Emma heard her, she did. She just didn’t know what to make of the question.

“Mom said that she lost you, and that you didn’t choose to leave—”

“What?” The blonde asked, this time more so out of confusion, forgetting everything else she’d been thinking about.

“Get out.” Emily said calmly at first, but her voice grew higher and more desperate when Emma didn’t move, too shocked to process anything. “I said get out!” However, the second time did it. Emma snapped to attention and moved hastily away from the little girl. She ran down stairs, not even bothering to talk to Regina about any of this and she grabbed her keys.

She wasn’t thinking, because if she was then maybe she would’ve heard her brain tell her to stay and that running wouldn’t work forever. But she felt stupid for getting her hopes up, for letting herself believe that she produced something amazing. She hadn’t, Emma’s baby was still out there somewhere, and it took Emily bulldozing into her life for her to even question her whereabouts.

What kind of mother is that? All this time she claimed she never wanted to give her baby up and yet she hadn’t even taken the time out to look for her, to see if she was alright or what her baby’s name was now. Emily made everything feel so real so quickly and in seconds Emma felt shattered.

Tears rushed down her face as she choked back a sob and rushed out the door. This time she wasn’t blocked in by Regina’s car. Emma was sure to check, but to get away, she needed more than just vigilance and luck.

“Ms. Swan?” Came Regina’s voice when the blonde was halfway down the drive way. “Did you leave something in your car?”

“No.” Emma said without turning to meet Regina’s questioning look. “I’m leaving. But before I go, I should probably mention that Emily came to my apartment last night claiming that I was her mother. I guess she just found out that she was adopted, and whatever you told her about me made her believe that I was her mother.” The blonde turned to meet the other woman’s gaze and her brown eyes were telling, they were full of guilt. So much so that Emma wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. “You know, at first, I didn’t believe her, but the longer I stayed the more I— I don’t know, I guess I just hoped. And I don’t know how I let a seven-year-old get my hopes up. I don’t know how I fell in love with her so easily, but I just— I wanted her to be mine, Regina.” The blonde turned to stare directly at the other woman and her brown eyes swiftly avoided green ones. “So, if she really isn’t my daughter please just tell me now, but if she is then I deserve to know.”

Regina dropped her gaze, fiddling with her fingers, and Emma thought this was the most unsure she had ever seen the brunette. “The fact that you even have to ask should be telling enough.” And just like that Emma felt her lungs constrict and her pulse quicken.

“That’s not an answer Regina.”

“Yes! Emma, okay, you gave birth to her, but make no mistake, I am her rightful mother.”

“Holy shit.” Emma heard her heartbeat thump rapidly in her ears, and there was a part of her that was livid with Regina for making her doubt. But the only thing that she could focus on was the little girl who was upstairs crying because of her. “Shit, Regina… _Shit_.”

“You’ll have to broaden your vocabulary if you expect to stay.”

Emma looked at Regina, really looked at her and she wondered how the universe had ever figured this one out. “How the hell did you, of all people, end up with my baby?”

“ _My_ daughter, Ms. Swan, and if you spent two seconds with your head outside of your ass then-“

“Bullshit, I asked, and you told me that she wasn’t.”

“Because I knew that you would leave regardless of my answer, so what difference did it make?”

Emma combed her hands roughly through her long blonde hair just before she began to pace the lawn. “What difference— Are you kidding me? You didn’t even give me a choice.” Emma said, and the silence that followed her last sentence was deafening. Regina clamped her mouth shut as if the blonde had won, as if she had nothing left to say after that. “Look, I know you must hate me, but that little girl up there changes everything. I’m not trying to be her mother or anything, she has you for that, but if it’s alright with you, I would like to get to know her… I’m asking, because she is your daughter and if you don’t want me near her then I can leave. She’s already pissed at me, so I don’t think she’ll come looking for me again.”

Regina seemed to contemplate Emma’s words and for a split second the blonde thought for sure she would be asked to vacate the premises. However, the brunette surprised her when she gave a very hesitant head nod. “I suggest you figure out a better coping mechanism than running.” The threat could be heard even if Regina didn’t say it out right. She’d have Emma’s head if she dared to think of leaving the small child now. But Emma didn’t plan on leaving, not now, not ever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued support. Also a lovely reader mentioned that I made a mistake with the time frame. What can I say? I'm a bad mathematician! I fixed it though. So to clarify Emma started working for Regina and Robin 10 years ago, and she left 8 years ago.

“It was Robin.” 

 

Emma looked up from her bowl of strawberries and gave Regina a look of confusion. “What?”

Of course the brunette didn’t cease her administrations, preparing dinner for the three of them, she simply turned her head to the side as she continued to chop the vegetables. 

 

“He’s the one that looked you up after you disappeared. He’s the reason I ever found out about Emily.” Regina clarified and Emma paused. She dropped the piece of fruit that was in her hand and she briefly wondered why Robin would come looking for her. 

 

“How did he find me? Why would he come looking for me?” Emma hadn’t known anybody had gone searching for her, and if she was ever found she never knew anything about it. 

 

Regina let out a weighted sigh before she spoke. “When you left, I was beside myself. I couldn’t lie to Robin anymore. Besides, I think he knew something wasn’t right the moment he saw my reaction. It was a bit dramatic for someone who had only lost their nanny.” She paused as she switched out vegetables on the cutting board. “And he was angry, but of course he still wanted to fight for me when I didn’t deserve it. We tried therapy but it didn’t work. He was too hurt and I was ashamed. I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming when he slid the divorce papers to me one night after dinner. But it still hurt, and what hurt even more was the fact that after I signed the papers he slid me your contact information and relayed to me that you were expecting. I still don’t know how he found out where you were... Private Investigator maybe? I didn’t think it was important to ask at the time.” Her voice trailed off a bit and the blonde listened intently, waiting for her to continue. 

 

“Anyway, the information he gave me came along with the contact number of the adoption agency you were going through. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do— Robin had been my husband and I betrayed him, yet he still felt it important to try and connect us again. I didn’t deserve him, I didn’t deserve Roland either.” She said softly. “But I went through with the adoption anyway. I had to pull some major strings, but my status did help a bit. The fact that I was the mayor gave me a bit of an edge over the rest of the applicants.” 

 

Regina didn’t say anything for a moment, and Emma wondered if she would say anything else at all. “So that’s how it happened. That’s how I ended up with my daughter.” And the blonde nodded even though Regina was facing away from her. She let those words sink in, thinking of Robin and how much they both hurt him. There was a familiar feeling of guilt again, and Emma couldn’t help but to replay everything Regina had just said over and over in her head, until something dawned on her. 

 

“So you never looked for me?” Really, she couldn’t help herself. The feelings that she’d had for Regina had perished long ago, but maybe a part of Emma still wanted to know that Regina had meant it when she said she loved her all those years ago. Maybe she wanted to know that hurting Robin wasn’t done in vain and that maybe if Regina actually meant what she said then she wouldn’t have to classify herself as a monster. But maybe there was no need in trying to appease herself, maybe she was the bad guy this time. 

 

The brunette paused, and then she shook her head before turning around to face Emma. “Why would I?” She said almost nonchalantly, as if Emma had suddenly struck a nerve. “You left, you just vanished into thin air. And I owed it Robin and Roland to at least try to forget you, since you’d done such a great job at forgetting me.” She sounded bitter, and the blonde thought that maybe she should apologize, but something inside held her back from doing that. Maybe it was the same parts of Emma that longed for Regina to have chased after her when she left, the parts of her that wanted the brunette to put meaning behind those three words she used. Emma wasn’t standing up for herself now, she was standing up for the girl she was years ago. The girl that would’ve done anything for the woman standing in front of her who seemingly would’ve done nothing for her. And as strange as it was, she was standing up for Robin and Roland. Because why would Regina ever risk her family if Emma never meant anything— if she was willing to give it all up so easily. 

 

“It was eight years ago Regina.” Emma said in exasperation. “Why are you still holding on so tightly?” The blonde watched, saw the way that her temples pulsed as she thought, and still Regina didn’t offer anything before she turned around and went back to chopping the vegetables with a little more force than necessary. “Do you want an apology?” She was easily ignored. “Fine, your majesty, let me bow down and kiss your a—“

 

“Don’t you dare.” Regina snapped. 

 

But Emma felt her own blood begin to boil. “No, you’re acting very high and mighty for someone who hurt me just as bad. You think everything revolves around you, Regina. Well, news flash, it doesn’t. And just so we’re clear, I didn’t leave because of you. I left for me. For my own sanity.” Emma felt anger cover her like a cloak, one that she could hide her most secret insecurities. Insecurities that she was seemed to be still running from. She wanted to lash out. Eight years was a long time, but it clearly wasn’t enough time to get over the hurt, not when she hadn’t dealt with it until now. “What would you have suggested I’d done? Should I have stayed and continued to sleep with a married woman right under her husband’s nose? Should I have pined for you more? I should’ve just let you continue to crush me in whatever way you wanted, right?” When Regina still didn’t say anything, Emma felt her resolve begin to crack. Her perfect cloak of anger saw hairline fractures, and there was pain that seeped through. 

 

It slowly enveloped her heart and hugged it tight. Pain? After all this time, that’s what she felt? Emma felt confusion wash over her as her heart began to beat harder, ramming itself against her ribcage. Suddenly the fact that Regina wouldn’t look at her was irksome, she wouldn’t see what she did to Emma. What it forced Emma to do. “I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted you to choose me.” She breathed softly, contrasting the way she spoke so frantically only mere moments ago. 

 

Green eyes seemed to will Regina to turn around, _look at me_ , Emma thought, _I want you to see_. Because maybe then Regina would understand, maybe she could let go of whatever animosity she still held, and maybe then they would be able to coexist at least for Emily’s sake. 

 

“I know...” the brunette finally said. She kept her back turned and her head bowed leaving Emma staring at her small frame. “It amazes me how utterly dense you can be sometimes.” Regina whipped around before the blonde could protest. “You appear after 8 years and you think I’m the angry one?”

 

“Aren’t you?” She asked softly.

 

“Maybe, just a little, but Emma I don’t have the right to be. Don’t you see that? Don’t you know your worth by now?” Brown eyes searched green ones almost pleadingly. Regina looked desperate for Emma to understand something the blonde still neglected to learn over these past years. “I want to yell at you so badly for leaving, but I can’t bring myself to do it. The truth is, if you were smart, you would’ve left way sooner.” Regina stared at her for a moment longer before she turned again, and Emma desperately wanted to know what was going on in her head. 

 

“Regina... you have a right to be angry with me too.” The blonde tried, but Regina only shook her head.

 

“I don’t. Not really.” That was the end of it Emma could tell. They spent a good amount of time in silence after that. And Emma couldn’t help but to think that Regina was so much of a mystery to her. She wondered who she was now. She re-thought all of their interactions in the past day and wondered if she’d misread it all—

 

“Is chicken soup still your favorite?” Regina turned and asked. The blonde felt her throat constrict and her heart stilled altogether. She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak. 

 

—maybe she had misread everything. Or maybe she was still misreading— maybe she just didn’t know what to think. 

 

“Emily’s favorite too.” Regina offered just as she dumped the vegetables in the pot. The brunette closed the lid and turned to lean up against the counter. She looked hesitant for a moment, and then she opened her mouth to speak, but no words formed. Eventually she gave up and clamped her mouth shut. 

 

 _Say it_. _Whatever it is, just say it_. And really it was right on the tip of her tongue, Emma wanted Regina to say more. She found herself wanting to find out more about Emily, about what happened after she left, about Roland, about—everything. But she didn’t know how to ask, she didn’t want to push. The situation already felt fragile enough as it was. 

 

So instead of talking about anything of value, Emma inhaled and forced a small smile. “Well, maybe she did inherit something from me after all.” 

 

Regina nodded, letting herself smile for the first time. “Yes, she definitely got her ravenous appetite from you.” 

 

“A girl’s gotta eat.” Emma shrugged. 

 

Regina regarded her for a moment, and Emma found herself wondering, yet again what the brunette was thinking when she looked at her. But she bit her tongue instead of asking. 

 

“She does.” Regina conceded. “You should go try your hand at talking to her now, she’s probably calmed down. And tell her to come downstairs so we can start the movie, dinner is almost ready.” 

 

Emma blinked and then she nodded, feeling the corner of her lips turn up as the smell of chicken soup wafted through the air. Regina had already turned to tend to her pot, but Emma lingered in her spot for second feeling herself run away with an idea. The air was warmer now, and though she and Regina barely scratched the surface of things they still needed to talk about, the dynamic between them was different now. It felt less strained. 

 

Emma trotted up the stairs feeling hopeful that she could remedy things with Emily. She knocked on the door and several moments passed before the tiniest voice told her to come in. And when Emma entered the room, she did so carefully, as if Emily would dismiss her if she moved too suddenly. 

 

“Hey, can I sit with you?” 

 

Big doe eyes stared up at Emma with all their innocence and Emily nodded her head. The moment Emma sat next to the small child, she scurried closer to her, laying her head on Emma’s arm. “I thought you were going to leave again.” She mumbled. “I saw you going to your car. Are you angry with me?” Her little lips were downturned as she lifted her head up to stare at the older blonde and Emma could only shake her head in denial. 

 

She wrapped her arm around the girl and pulled her close. “It’s alright kid. I’m sorry that I upset you.” 

 

“It’s okay.” She said softly before curling into Emma’s side. And Emma couldn’t fathom why she almost left earlier, she felt herself solidified in her position now. She knew she’d never leave again, but this only confirmed it. This moment when Emily let herself be afraid to lose Emma. The blonde knew from then on that she could never leave this little girl. “Emma, why did you leave before?” 

 

“That’s a long story.”

 

“We’ve got time.” Emily offered, and Emma chuckled in response.

 

“I guess— well I guess it was because I was hurt, and afraid. The only thing I could think to do was get away. It seemed like it would fix everything, only everything came knocking on my door last night despite my attempts.” 

 

Emily looked up at her and blinked slowly. “Did my mom hurt you?” 

 

The blonde dry swallowed and shook her head. “We hurt each other.” She answered. “It caused us both to do a lot of regrettable things.” 

 

The smaller blonde leaned into Emma and nodded her head. She waited a beat before she looked up at the older woman with her nose scrunched in confusion. “What’s regrettable?” 

 

“It means to do something you wish you hadn’t done.” 

 

“Oh.” Emily said in understanding before she looked at Emma with a sly smile. “Is mom making chicken noodle soup?” A nod from Emma, and Emily gave her no time after that. The smaller blonde bolted upright and hopped off of the bed. “I’ll race you down stairs, last one down is a rotten egg.”

 

“That’s cheating!” Emma called as she rushed out of the room. 

 

Needless to say that Emma was deemed a rotten egg, but the blonde thought that she could live with that as she ate her soup and watched Hocus Pocus. Regina and Emily were curled up on the couch adjacent to where she was sitting. Emily was already half asleep and Regina held her daughter, spooning her, with her head laying gently atop Emily’s. They’d skipped the hot chocolate, feeling warm enough from the soup. And by the time the movie had finished and Emma was done with her second bowl of soup, it was quite late in the evening.

 

Emma watched the credits roll as Regina lifted her sleeping child and quietly carried her upstairs. She found herself dreading what was to come next. Once Regina came back downstairs she’d undoubtedly ask her to leave, and Emma would have to drive the 5 hours it took to get back to Boston. 

 

Her eyes drifted to the staircase, and she felt a deep sense of longing. But she couldn’t quite understand why. She’d see Emily soon enough, Emma would make sure of it, but there was still something so plaguing about leaving the warmth of her old home to step outside into the crisp fall night and head back to her empty apartment. 

 

It was daunting. So much so, that it distracted her from realizing that Regina had come back down stairs and started to collect Emma’s discarded dishes. “The guest room is set. I put a pair of pajamas on the bed, and the bathroom is just the door to the right of the bedroom if you’ve forgotten.” The brunette said as if she hadn’t given any thought to the statement at all. 

 

Emma blinked, once and then twice— three times before the words sunk in. “I was going to go home.” She managed to say and kicked herself immediately for having said so. She didn’t want to leave, and she wasn’t sure why the words ever came from her mouth. 

 

“Oh. I shouldn’t have assumed, I just thought that it would be a bit of a drive and since we have space here...” Regina trailed off before she looked back up at Emma. “I—“ she chewed her bottom lip, but Emma cut her off before she could continue. 

 

“But I’m really glad you offered, because I’ve had a long day and I can’t wait to get to bed.” Emma saw something flash in Regina’s eyes but it disappeared almost as quickly as it came. “Can I help you with the dishes or anything?” 

 

Regina looked down at the bowl and spoon she was holding and shook her head. “I’ve got it.” Then she turned and made a beeline for the kitchen leaving Emma in the living room to stare after her. But it only lasted for a few seconds more before the blonde turned to go upstairs. However, just as she was about to head up to her room, Regina called out to her.

 

“Yes?” 

 

There was a few clanking noises followed by the faucet being turned on, but then Regina said it. “Happy Belated Birthday Ms. Swan.” And Emma felt rooted in her spot as her eyes began to gloss over. How had she remembered something minuscule this entire time? The blonde tried to think of when Regina’s birthday was, but she couldn’t remember.

 

“Thank you.” Emma croaked out, not believing that any of this was real anymore. 

 

X

 

Her weekend in Maine ended Sunday afternoon, and Emma found herself back in Boston by Sunday night. She’d promised Emily that she would be back the following weekend. The blonde almost thought of calling out of work, but she really couldn’t afford to miss any days now with her freshly crashed car. It still worked, thankfully, but she’d have to get it fixed at some point. 

 

Emma flopped down on her bed and let her mind drift, thinking about how much her life had changed in such a short span of time. A small smile graced her lips as flashes of Emily appeared in her mind. The little girl was a ball of light, and nothing like Emma would’ve ever imagined her to be if she had ever given herself time to think about it. And Regina— She was different with Emily, nothing like how she was with Roland. Emma knew that the brunette had loved the little boy, but one night back when she and Regina were still sleeping together, she  told Emma that she never felt like his mother. It was true, Regina was only Roland’s stepmother. But Emma didn’t think a blood relation was needed for the brunette to love a child as her own. 

 

In fact, she’d claimed Emily with a fierceness. She came alive for that little girl.

 

Maybe there were things Emma was just blind to from the very beginning. Things she never tried to understand before, but things that Emma found herself trying to figure out now— when it was much too late. 

 

The blonde shook her head, freeing herself from her thoughts before setting her alarm and dozing off. If there was anything else Regina wanted her to know, then surely she would tell her. There wasn’t much use in trying to piece together a puzzle that was still missing so many of its  pieces. 

 

The next few days went by silently. Coming and going without a word from Regina and Emily, but by the Thursday Emma did receive a simple text. Just one that asked if she was still coming down on Saturday. To which she responded with a resounding yes, and a smiley face. 

 

On Saturday, just after noon, when Emma pulled into the driveway of 108 Mifflin Street Emily was already waiting on the porch in her cutest fall attire. The smaller blonde sported a rust colored overcoat, a cream scarf  with gray pants and black ankle high boots. Today her long blonde hair was down and it flowed in the wind as she skipped over to Emma. 

 

“Wow, you look very pretty.” Emily beamed up at her and then hooked her finger in her jaw. 

 

“Look, my ooth came out.” And sure enough, the girl was missing one of her front bottom teeth. “Mom gave me $5 for it.” 

 

Emma arched an eyebrow before taking Emily’s hand and leading her back up the driveway. “Don’t you mean the tooth fairy?” She questioned and Emily shook her head in response. 

 

“Mom was the one who sneaked into my room and put the money there... but she doesn’t know that I saw her, so you can’t tell her.”

 

“So you’re telling me that you’re the one keeping the tooth fairy alive for your mom, and not the other way around?” 

 

Emily smiled and nodded. “But only because if I tell her that I know the tooth fairy isn’t real she might not give me anymore money, and I still have 19 baby teeth left.” Emma couldn’t help it, she laughed, she had to. Because there was probably something else Emily inherited from her. Her quick wit and means to finagle money out of adults. The blonde remembered a time when she would use her cute charm at a young age to get what she wanted too. 

 

“You’re too smart for your own good. But I won’t tell Regina.” They both smiled, not noticing the woman in question had also stepped outside equipped with a hat and a pair of gloves in hand. 

 

“Tell me what?” She asked eying Emma curiously but the blonde easily shrugged it off. 

 

“It was nothing. Just a silly little joke Emily told me.” 

 

“Ah, okay.” Regina said as she looked to her daughter and handed her the hat and gloves. “We can take my car since you still haven’t gotten yours fixed, that, and we wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing.” The brunette mentioned. 

 

“Hey, Lady has gotten me everywhere I’ve ever needed to be. You’ve ridden in my bug before. She wasn’t that bad was she?” Emma asked Emily and the smaller child shrugged and smiled meekly. 

 

“It’s pretty bad Emma.”

 

The blonde let out something between a scoff and a laugh while Regina sported a satisfied smile at her daughter. “Well aren’t you your mother’s child.” Emma said and though she was joking she felt like she was in slight awe at the two of them. Regina and her daughter, they were a sight to behold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anybody who is wondering: Yes, Emma and Regina still do have a lot to talk about and no the angst is not over. I hope to see you next time. Ciao!


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